Forever Foes!

Everyone seems to be getting in on the children's book market these days... Madonna, Katie Price, Idi Amin and many more. And just as they stretched their respective talents beyond pop music, brutal repression and having big tits, I have done the same and launched my own line of children's novels!

Proudly brought to you by Harry Potter publishers Bloomsbury, FOREVER FOES! is available in all good bookshops including Waterstone's as seen below. FOREVER FOES! follows the adventures of a series of different villainous adventurers "...as they run the gamut of negative human experience, smashing and fucking everything in their path!". Wowee!

A close up of those covers so your six to twelve-year old knows what to look for on Amazon, with each character brought to life by a different talented artist from the Scottish comics underground.

 Volume I: Fear, Emptiness, Despair.

 Volume II: To Philosophise With A Hammer

Volume III: Bastards of Ragnarok

Available now in national bookstores!:

A good look at the blurb, to reel in those enthusiatic young minds:

And here are the central characters, soon to be appearing on lunchboxes, stationery and backpacks and that kind of stuff:

Lust Ghost - by Spanky

Spewnicorn - by Robert Thomson

 Gaseous Bastard - by Rob Miller

Meat Nun - by Paul McCann

Plague Chef - by James Corcoran

The Wicker Gran - by Alex Ronald

 

Prison Troll - by Curt Sibling

 

 Gory Tory - by Dave Alexander

Space Racist - by Iain Laurie

Thanks to each of these very skilled gentlemen for lending their talents and tolerating the excruciating Bloomsbury editorial process.


BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!

In keeping with the fine tradition of cynical cash-ins and exhaustive merchandising, there's also the FOREVER FOES collectable card game FOE TRUMPS! Simply click to embiggen, print, snip, glue then destroy your opponents without mercy! Check out these cool kids engaged in a deadly match.

 Jim "Destroyer" Devlin is furious as Manglin' Paul McCann smites him with a killer play!

Expand your game - more Foe Trumps to follow! Gotta Catch 'Em All!

 
Gee willikers, sir! My favourite Foe has gotta be...

Haunted Bowels!

Prepare to be haunted....!

I'm very pleased to say that after some years now of producing comics, I've finally printed my first collected volume - Haunted Bowels: Craig Collins Collected Comics Volume 1.

 Cover art by Iain Laurie

A collection of small press comedy comics - gruesome gags and oddball humour, surreal comedy and morbid light entertainment. Omniscient beings, strange cowboys, troubled poets and unruly spectres and much more await within...!

28 A5 black and white pages with colour cover. Some adult humour. Chocked to the gills with comics and featuring art by:

Dave Alexander, James Corcoran, Iain Laurie, Paul McCann, Rob Miller, Nulsh, Curt Sibling, Robert Thomson and Jacek Zabawa.

And you can buy it here in my Big Cartel for a mere £3 plus postage.

Needless to say it's been a huge pleasure collaborating with these exceptionally talented gentlemen, without whom I wouldn't have made any comics at all. Thanks guys, my hat's off to you! Thanks also to Stuart Gould of UK Comics, printer extraordinaire and all-round good guy.

A Fabulous Voyage Through Time...

Time Travel is a dangerous business, and should only be used for the most serious of purposes.

With the temporally troubled talents of Paul McCann, a man who would most certainly like to be living in the world 100 years from now.

The Final Zurprise!

With Wasted retiring from the physical world to exist solely in the ghostly realm of digital downloads from issue #8, it seemed an appropriate time to conclude the Kinder Zurprise running gag:

  ...and in an irrevocable ret-con-proof fashion at that. Art duties by lactating parkour-master Paul McCann. We also sneaked this one in just prior to that, because it's important to honour the dead.

These both crawled from the earth then exploded into microscopic space dust back in Wasted #8.

Wasted #8 is Upon Us!

Issue #8 of Wasted is out now from Alan Grant's Bad Press Ltd. Available in comic shops, newsagents and  heather funeral pyres all over the UK and online here!

You'll find all manner  therein, including some by written by me: Robor Sex, Human Error with art by Dave Alexander and more Zinder Surprise had with Paul McCann!

In fact, with this being the final print issue of Wasted before it moves to online only, it seemed an appropriate time to irrevocably conclude and gloriously retire the Zinder Surprise strips, which go out with an enormous bang!

It also seems an appropriate time to salute the Wasted crew. The costs and efforts involved in keeping Wasted going and considerable indeed, and the heroic efforts of the likes of Jamie Grant and Rob Miller have kept it moving ahead in challenging times. Kudos to you, gents.

I'm pretty proud of my contributions to Wasted. I've had strips in every issue and have somehow managed to exist in the nebulous space of writing oddball humour strips that aren't strung out on drugs but sit alongside other contributions fairly comfortably, and it's been an honour to see a mag on the hallowed comic shelves of Forbidden Planet or wherever else that has some of my work in it. I

It's also through Wasted and the Hope Street Sky Dungeon that I've met many of the artists and collaborators I do a lot of comics with, and now consider to be friends. Or at least, fellow underground scumbags. Thanks you rowdy lot!

Kinder Zurprise

Like chocolate? Like toys? Like the kids to be quiet for just ten goddamn minutes? Then Kinder Surprise is the treat for you! Unless you're an American, in which case this won't mean anything to you and you can blame the FDA for that.

Kinder Zurprise, in which eggs are opened and drama ensues, has featured in every issue of Wasted so far and features fabulous art by the talented and moustachioed Paul McCann! However, as Rob Granito would say "All good things must come to an end..." and so with Wasted #8 which is due out in May, we'll be wrapping it up in style...

Here's some of my favourites...

Wasted #7 Is Upon Us!

Issue #7 of Wasted is out now from Alan Grant's Bad Press Ltd. Available in comic shops, newsagents and irradiated bomb craters all over the UK and online here!

You'll find all sorts of sordid sorcrery therein, including some by written by me: The Yoke of Our Own Wrong-Doing with the mighty Nulsh, a fistful of strips with art by devious Dave Alexander and there's more Zinder Surprises to be had with pernicious Paul McCann!

Here's a wee preview:

 And this issue's cover is a bombastically sexy Nazi-Undead-Fetish sexbomb by Alex Ronald from the 'Vampire Vixens of the Wermacht' strip contained therein. Yowza!

Wasted #6 Is Upon Us!

Issue #6 of Wasted is out now from Alan Grant's Bad Press Ltd. Available in comic shops, newsagents and skull-shaped mountaintops all over the UK and online here!

You'll find all manner of mucky mayhem therein, including some by written by me: Sound and Fury with Jacek Zabawa, Omniscient Zorgo with art by James Corcoran and there's yet more Zinder Surprises to be had with Paul McCann.

Here's a wee preview:

 Wasted #6 Cover by the wonderfully talented industry veteran Cam Kennedy.

Wasted #5 Is Upon Us!

Issue #5 of Wasted is out now from Alan Grant's Bad Press Ltd. Available in comic shops, newsagents and fight-pits all over the UK and online here!

You'll find all manner of brash and bawdy thrills and spills therein, including some by written by me: Omniscient Zorgo with art by Rob Miller and Zinder Surprise with Paul McCann. You'll also find me in the guise of Dr. Hemp on a couple of letters - one Kafka gag deserves another.

Thanks also to Cheryl Cole for making my malaria gag unexpectedly topical. Here's a preview!

(Cover by Neil Beattie)