2016: Oozing Wound Fascination

Hello hello. I've been working continually on a lot of quite in depth projects over the last couple of years, so it's with some excitement that hopefully 2016 is the year when some of these will see the light of day. I'm thinking of also taking a bit of an ill-advised step into the world of lo-fi illustration zines, though feel free to talk me out of this. In the meantime, here's some collected shonky photos of some dubious work that's seeped out on Twitter over the last few months. Onwards and upwards!

 

Cavernous and crepuscular opinions on The Apprentice. Serious kvlt shit. As it is, this benighted young man called it early and backed the winner.

An official Khorne Berzerker Product review for yet another excellent Williams Brothers beer. For completion's sake I should probably do the other Chaos Gods, but I don't know if I want to draw a bunch of Slaaneshi Penis Marines.

You can simultaneously indulge your interest in making profoundly stupid art about ridiculous things while shamelessly baiting for RTs and Faves on Twitter by combining a current topical issue with a hugely successful and beloved television program. But you won't necessarily get those Faves, and then you'll just feel cheap.

I thought I'd have a go at The Mooks' Draw Stormtroopers project. There's an abundance of incredible stuff here.

 

Sheldon. Ghnuzunga.

Sometimes you just lose your fucking mind and hold up a Greggs.

 

A reflective self-portrait. I watched Attack On Titan and it led to some profound thoughts.

 

Positive vibe emanation at MCM Birmingham.

He's not wrong though.

 

Sweet mood ring, Bro.

It was National Burger Day back in August. About a week later it was National Cheeseburger Day. No one's flying the plane.

 

Getting in on that "Draw Andy Oliver of Broken Frontier" action. Sorely tempted to write some of those ludicrous comics whirling about him.

Jonbot vs. Marduk

A wee piece of grim necro kvlt-ified fan art for the delightfully funny Jonbot vs. Martha, by all round good-guys Colin Bell and Neil Slorance...

Jonbot vs. Martha is a great little comedy webcomic which Colin and Neil have taken from humble beginnings to ever more convoluted and hilarious places... check it out!

Haunted Bowels!

Prepare to be haunted....!

I'm very pleased to say that after some years now of producing comics, I've finally printed my first collected volume - Haunted Bowels: Craig Collins Collected Comics Volume 1.

 Cover art by Iain Laurie

A collection of small press comedy comics - gruesome gags and oddball humour, surreal comedy and morbid light entertainment. Omniscient beings, strange cowboys, troubled poets and unruly spectres and much more await within...!

28 A5 black and white pages with colour cover. Some adult humour. Chocked to the gills with comics and featuring art by:

Dave Alexander, James Corcoran, Iain Laurie, Paul McCann, Rob Miller, Nulsh, Curt Sibling, Robert Thomson and Jacek Zabawa.

And you can buy it here in my Big Cartel for a mere £3 plus postage.

Needless to say it's been a huge pleasure collaborating with these exceptionally talented gentlemen, without whom I wouldn't have made any comics at all. Thanks guys, my hat's off to you! Thanks also to Stuart Gould of UK Comics, printer extraordinaire and all-round good guy.

Annotated Weekender 3rd Birthday Jam!

In celebration of the Annotated Weekender's third birthday, talented humourist and all round good egg Joe List has invited all and sundry to contribute with some Guardian-mangling of their own..

Clickee here to see contributions by the powerfully talented likes of Craig Conlan and John Allison!

And once again, here's one of my efforts stinking up the place. I attempted a theme this time, blackened dooming it up while attempting to ape this classic cover.

The Magic Of The Serengeti

Me and my wee girl were playing around with her set of stamps, and this resulted:

If you were really pedantic you would point out that there's an obvious mistake here, as Lionesses do the majority of the hunting. Well I don't have a Lioness stamp, do I? WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING MAKE ME ONE THEN!?

Vogue Condone This?

I was just randomly browsing a high-end women's magazine, as you do, when I happened upon the most troubling advertisement I have ever seen. There in the classifieds among the ads for psychics and fat removal and so on was this...

Good God! Does Vogue Magazine even check these things? Do they condone this clinic, and even recommend their services!? Needless to say, I was alarmed indeed. Look closely and be morally outraged:

Perhaps in the big money world of high fashion, there's so much advertising revenue sloshing around they don't bother to track who it comes from. Shame on you, Alexandra Shulman!

 Ladies - I implore you, do not call that number!

 

(February 2011, Spring Reptilian Fashion Overlords Special)

A short-lived dabbling in political cartooning circa 2007...

Way back in mid-2007 I thought I'd have a crack at exercising my minimal cartooning skills. It was around this time former rock star and British Prime Minister Tony Blair left office.

It was also around this time that Cadbury's, having decided that chocolate is best advertised via viral-marketing ready "entertainment pieces", ran the famed Gorilla advert which was subsequently discussed around office water-coolers and corpse filled skips all over the land.

So there's your context, and here's the cartoon I sent to Private Eye:

And here's that ad. Though personally I'd have rathered see the gorilla play this.

Sending something in to Private Eye was, of course, a million to one shot destined to fail. But it did get me this, which is kinda nice to have:

Nevermind the X-Men, here's the Craig-Men!

I happened upon this fun little thing, which generates unique little faces according to the name you type in.

So in a Grant Morrison / Kirk Morrsion / Gideon Starorzewski / Gideon Stargrave / King Mob reality-fiction meta-mashup fashion, I've created a team of badass badasses based on my various identities. As far as team-ups go, this one will leave the Justice League in the dust! Please welcome:

This is team leader 'Craig Collins'

And then clockwise from top-left we have: 'Classical Torturing' - my coolest name anagram, 'TK Maxx' - a pen name inadvertently thrust upon me, 'Lazlo Potemkin' - a name I use to divorce myself from my own terrible cartooning, and 'Zombie Barber' - my poorly chosen Last.fm profile name.

I haven't quite decided the sort of comics I'm going to write about these guys, but I think they'll be a Death Metal Beat Poetry Combo who get into a caper that closely mirrors the plot of Three Men and a Baby. What kind of multiple personality mayhem do you think they should get into?

Funnily enough, when you type in "Iain Laurie" it goes a bit funny and you get this troubling image:

Annotated Weekender

In celebration of the Annotated Weekender's second birthday, fantastic cartoonist and all-round good-guy Joe List invited people to contribute with Guardian-defacing doodles of their own.

Clickee here to see contributions by properly awesome artists like Simon Gurr and Phillipa Rice.

And here's my effort, stinking up the place...

Thanks to Joe for having me over to his house, especially in such ridiculously talented company!

You'll Kill Us All!

Is this a bit clever - or just a bit shite? Only in your heart can you decide...

And here's what became of the doomed pair. What an ignominious end...

I can't possibly be the first person to draw a comic on a balloon. And it is kind of shite. But what you gonna do? Thanks to Sarah Connor for the borrowed dialogue.

Clive Barker's Permanent Marker

Click to summon a PVC-clad large version. We have such sights to show yoooouuu....!

Every now and then there's something so ridiculously stupid that I can't possibly ask someone else to draw it, and as a result you're exposed to the agonising experience of observing something I drew myself. Here's an example of such a thing from a few years back, that I tidied up a bit since.

Or alternatively, similar satire done considerably better.