Forever Foes!

Everyone seems to be getting in on the children's book market these days... Madonna, Katie Price, Idi Amin and many more. And just as they stretched their respective talents beyond pop music, brutal repression and having big tits, I have done the same and launched my own line of children's novels!

Proudly brought to you by Harry Potter publishers Bloomsbury, FOREVER FOES! is available in all good bookshops including Waterstone's as seen below. FOREVER FOES! follows the adventures of a series of different villainous adventurers " they run the gamut of negative human experience, smashing and fucking everything in their path!". Wowee!

A close up of those covers so your six to twelve-year old knows what to look for on Amazon, with each character brought to life by a different talented artist from the Scottish comics underground.
 Volume I: Fear, Emptiness, Despair.
 Volume II: To Philosophise With A Hammer
Volume III: Bastards of Ragnarok

Available now in national bookstores!:

A good look at the blurb, to reel in those enthusiatic young minds:

And here are the central characters, soon to be appearing on lunchboxes, stationery and backpacks and that kind of stuff:
Lust Ghost - by Spanky
Spewnicorn - by Robert Thomson
 Gaseous Bastard - by Rob Miller
Meat Nun - by Paul McCann
Plague Chef - by James Corcoran
The Wicker Gran - by Alex Ronald
Prison Troll - by Curt Sibling
 Gory Tory - by Dave Alexander
Space Racist - by Iain Laurie
Thanks to each of these very skilled gentlemen for lending their talents and tolerating the excruciating Bloomsbury editorial process.


In keeping with the fine tradition of cynical cash-ins and exhaustive merchandising, there's also the FOREVER FOES collectable card game FOE TRUMPS! Simply click to embiggen, print, snip, glue then destroy your opponents without mercy! Check out these cool kids engaged in a deadly match.

 Jim "Destroyer" Devlin is furious as Manglin' Paul McCann smites him with a killer play!
Expand your game - more Foe Trumps to follow! Gotta Catch 'Em All!

Gee willikers, sir! My favourite Foe has gotta be...


Insert opprobrium here