Forever Foes!

Everyone seems to be getting in on the children's book market these days... Madonna, Katie Price, Idi Amin and many more. And just as they stretched their respective talents beyond pop music, brutal repression and having big tits, I have done the same and launched my own line of children's novels!

Proudly brought to you by Harry Potter publishers Bloomsbury, FOREVER FOES! is available in all good bookshops including Waterstone's as seen below. FOREVER FOES! follows the adventures of a series of different villainous adventurers "...as they run the gamut of negative human experience, smashing and fucking everything in their path!". Wowee!

A close up of those covers so your six to twelve-year old knows what to look for on Amazon, with each character brought to life by a different talented artist from the Scottish comics underground.

 Volume I: Fear, Emptiness, Despair.

 Volume II: To Philosophise With A Hammer

Volume III: Bastards of Ragnarok

Available now in national bookstores!:

A good look at the blurb, to reel in those enthusiatic young minds:

And here are the central characters, soon to be appearing on lunchboxes, stationery and backpacks and that kind of stuff:

Lust Ghost - by Spanky

Spewnicorn - by Robert Thomson

 Gaseous Bastard - by Rob Miller

Meat Nun - by Paul McCann

Plague Chef - by James Corcoran

The Wicker Gran - by Alex Ronald

 

Prison Troll - by Curt Sibling

 

 Gory Tory - by Dave Alexander

Space Racist - by Iain Laurie

Thanks to each of these very skilled gentlemen for lending their talents and tolerating the excruciating Bloomsbury editorial process.


BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!

In keeping with the fine tradition of cynical cash-ins and exhaustive merchandising, there's also the FOREVER FOES collectable card game FOE TRUMPS! Simply click to embiggen, print, snip, glue then destroy your opponents without mercy! Check out these cool kids engaged in a deadly match.

 Jim "Destroyer" Devlin is furious as Manglin' Paul McCann smites him with a killer play!

Expand your game - more Foe Trumps to follow! Gotta Catch 'Em All!

 
Gee willikers, sir! My favourite Foe has gotta be...